The Pandemic of Lost Identities & Embracing Suffering

Everyone talks about the COVID-19 pandemic, which has been festering for about two years now. It has claimed the lives of many dear to us, and brought to our attention the inner movements of our hearts—namely, fears, anxieties, and loneliness. But what about the pandemic of lost identities? Perhaps this is the pandemic we should be aware of, because its silent prevalence is debilitating us, generation by generation.

We fail to ask or explore the hard questions, grapple with difficult feelings or life circumstances, or desire true satisfaction for ourselves. We fear being uncomfortable but comfortable doesn’t bring us the happiness or satisfaction that we want. We are living in a pandemic of surface-level happiness and lost identities. It’s a mindset that perpetually asks, “How can I avoid rejection and suffering, be successful, have money and be happy?” All about self, all about pride. And you know what, I do this, too. Seeking greater happiness and satisfaction (in God) is an imperfect process in need of constant reparation. But here’s something I’ve learned along the way: avoiding suffering causes more suffering, the kind that comes from unresolved or unacknowledged past hurt and rejection.

Facing suffering and realizing the insurmountable graces and fruits it will bear is where we will thrive, in all aspects of our being. Why? Because it is aligned with what God desires for us, aligned with Whose we are and who He created us to be. You may struggle with a serious sin. You may struggle with mental illness. You may be grieving the loss of a loved one. You may be struggling to find a career for yourself. You may be wanting truly good things for yourself but accepting whatever comes along as “good enough” because you doubt you are worthy of love, forgiveness and attention. You think you are too broken, too far gone, too sinful. Is this you?? Keep reading. St. John Paul II hit the nail on the head when he said, “It is Jesus you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else satisfies you.” It is no wonder, then, how many people are suffering, when their desires are good but their searching is misguided, in other words—not pointed towards Jesus, Who alone satisfies us and desires our happiness, wholeness and healing. Choosing this path with Christ does not mean it will be void of suffering; it may, in fact, bring more suffering. But do not be afraid, do not lose hope. You are not the only one. Believe that you are worth all the love in the world, and more.

Believe in the power of His grace through your imperfections and failures along the way. Believe that you are forgiven by Him and forgive yourself, too, don’t hold on to the guilt. Believe that He wants to heal your trauma, your hurt, your thoughts that are self-sabotaging. All of it, but you must let Him be your Physician, let Him bring you authentic friends, let Him guide you in love and fight against anything that offers you less than that. Choose healthy boundaries for yourself that will encourage you on this way, understanding that this will likely mean disappointing people, reassessing relationships, and possibly realigning career choices to sustain this life of renewal and joy that God desires so deeply for you to have. Let’s realize our innate goodness and fight back against the enemy by recognizing the effects of sin and woundedness in our world, not be ignorant or indifferent to them, because that is where the enemy likes us to be. You are so deeply loved, known and held by the Beloved, let Him love you back and show you the steps leading straight into His arms again.

by Erin Dewey